Is Your Eye Twitching?
August 19, 2021
“That which doesnʼt kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Ainʼt that the truth.
In my last blog, I mentioned the six types of conflict in a story. Conflict is so important because tension moves the plot forward. It also helps develop the main character (MC). Think about the last book you read or movie you watched. The MC had a goal, but along the way, something or someone kept trying to thwart them. Say hello to our antagonist, who is usually a person, but not always (weʼll talk about that later).
CONFLICT PART 2
Our second type of conflict is Character vs. Character.
Iʼd say this is the most common type of conflict: Harry Potter vs. Voldermort, Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader, Elizabeth Bennett vs. Mr. Darcy, Sherlock Holmes vs. Professor Moriarty. You get my drift.
No matter the stage of life, your job, your relationship status, there will always be someone who makes your eye twitch. We need and want conflict in our stories, but not necessarily in our day-to-day life. I found a blog post by First Tee with ways to resolve conflict. Click here for the full article.
4 Ways to Resolve Conflict:
- Communication is Key: And may I add, how we communicate. "I feel" statements are more helpful in diffusing a situation than "you did." No one can argue with how you feel - am I right? But, in all seriousness, try focusing on the problem and the facts, and not simply the emotion. Easier said than done, I know.
- Two Ears vs. One Mouth: Thereʼs a reason God gave us two ears. Truly listening to (and not just hearing) what the person is saying is paramount to resolving conflict. I struggle with listening well because Iʼ usually crafting my rebuttal while the other person is talking. This does not score me points in the listening department.
- What are the Alternatives? Thereʼs more than one way to skin a cat. Talking over options and looking for solutions is a plus for resolving conflict. And sometimes, agreeing to disagree is a viable solution.
- Winning is the Ultimate Goal: For both parties, silly, not just you 😜. I learned in a marriage class that relationship is more important than being right. Ouch. I love being right as it happens so frequently (wink, wink).
Like with our protagonist, conflict helps us develop and grow our character. We discover more about ourselves and learn to persevere, which is always a good quality to have.
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.”
William Ellery Channing
So, if your eye is twitching, and youʼre not low in magnesium, take a breath, maybe go for a walk, and then resolve that conflict. Remember, the relationship is more important than you being right. (Yes, Iʼm talking to myself here).
Do you have unique ways of handling difficult people? Shoot me an email and let me know.